How I Got Into Boston University: Minute 006

What's up motha-truckas. How we feeling. Good? Great? Unreal. Gotta love that feeling. Anyways, today, because I am such an incredible person, I have decided to bestow upon the lucky few who actually read these the fruits of my bountiful knowledge harvest. And by that, I'm going to answer one of the most pressing questions known to man— "how in the world did I get let into an accredited university?" Honestly, I'm not quite sure. My high school GPA was a measly 3.2 out of 4- which in my above average high school it was seen as a dark mark of stupidity to have anything under a 3.5. Too many damn asians. and too many white girls who try too hard. Fucking hardos. Anyways, my GPA wasn't great, but little did the all the losers know I was a monster test taker.  Ok, I'm talking it up a lil bit, but I had straight 5's on like every AP exam except for European History, which kicked my fucking ass. But, to this day, I know that Queen Elizabeth and King Ferdinand reunited the Spanish kingdom when they wed in 1469. The only reason why I remember that is because my EHAP (stupid ass high school acronym) teacher made a joke about them getting married in '69 and how you could always remember it cuz ya know. Hur hur hur. Super funny I know, but, it happened to be relevant to the very first question on my version of the 2015 Euro exam, and i got that motherfucker right. And then i got a three. Fuck me. So i guess, my stellar college performance is all owed to crushing the Barron's AP study guides for the two weeks before my tests. Those things are magic. Ya boy got a fucking C in AP bio and was like "I'm so fucked" and then boom Barron's + Princeton Review + Hours of intense focus *read: "Doc, I think I have ADHD." (gotheem)* = college admissions offices overlooking your shit GPA. I hope. I think. Oh check this out. Ready, Jackson's three tips for fives. 

1. Prep books (I used Barron's and took every single practice exam in the book)

2. a second prepbook (Princeton Review)

3. adderall. 

Now I can title this 3 tips for fives and whole bunch of hardos will read and be so confused and salty I love it. So, disclaimer; It worked for me, not saying it will work for you. Honestly tho, my younger sister is way smarter than me and got rocked by admissions. It's a fucking crapshoot and the system is broken as hell. Not only are admission's often the most arbitrary seeming decisions in the world despite claiming to be based on "a holistic review" or whatever red tape bullshit the college are shoving out in their pamphlets these days  in an effort to make the process seem somewhat fair—but then, when you get in, like fuck yourself in the ass, cough up 65k please. And 290 dollars for a housing fee because fuck you. And then screw your ass hat of a floormate who jerks off too much in the showers and clogs the drain with his beat ass semen and the whole floor has to chip in to buy industrial draino— 12 dollars. Moral of the story is, save your time, save your money, don't take any APs, and drop out right now to go do something you love. Because the rest is all bullshit in the end.

Leave a comment