Sup bitches. Jackson again, ripping through another set of Jackson minutes. I'd like to take a moment to address the inherent confusion surrounding the Jackson minute: What is it? Is it a podcast? Is it a wildly inebriated man yelling into the camera for what seems like a minute? In truth the Jackson minute truly is the Jackson minute. It's kinda whatever i feel like it is. Unfortunately, like most members of the human race, the real Jackson is as lazy as he is funny. Thus, when it seems like the whole sphere of the minute averages about one piece of content every fortnite (ha gotheeeem bitch) it's because I forgot. Or i fell asleep. Or I played too much actual Fortnite and Arlin had to yell at me to go do something with my life. Or like last week, I ended up having a few more beers than I should have and my Jackson minute sounded more like a Future track circa 2013. The issue is, I like doing this kind of stuff. I love to spew, mostly because my arrogance fakes me into believing that what I have to say is of vital importance to the human race. I know, talk about entitlement. Honesty above all folks, that's what we are going for. So, going forward, the "minute" or whatever you want to call will take a bunch of different forms. Many mediums make more men merry. Or some shit like that. Not sure where that came from but onomatopoeias are sick so fuck you. Anyways, with just a lil bit of walla walla bing bang, we should keep these rolling. Because hopefully someone thinks I have something interesting to say. I'm not sure if anyone besides Arlin and my mom are gonna read these little 300 word blasts, but I hope to entertain and inform. Think of this as like a news update but with only the dope news. Like fuck a trump you hear John Cena and Nikki broke up? Not sure how she managed to do that. Get it? Cuz how can you break up with something you can't see? Lol. Fuck that was bad aight I'm out but stay tuned and listen to the goddamn minute if you want to up your fucking game in life. Or just want to have a laugh when you wake up in the morning. Or if you hate me and have my face taped to a dartboard then you should totally listen to the minute while chucking darts at my face. I feel like that would be cathartic— and positive! I think.
*disclaimer- I don't know what I know and neither do you so how can either of us know if anything is gonna be factual? World of fake news eh. But for real, the opinions expressed are meant for entertainment purposes. So if you're easily offended, a star fairy fruit cake, or any other kind of pussy ass millennial I regret sharing a generation with, then kindly take your bags and fuck all the way on back to medieval times. I should be able to express opinions without you taking personal offense, and you should be able to hear others opinions without automatically lashing out. Trust me, I live with assholes, I know how hard it is to listen to one and not wanna shove a pipe down it to make it shuttup. But homie, chill. Untwist your panties and realize that sometimes different is ok, and a lot of times it is better. But hopefully you'll learn that for yourself.
** Pipe in butthole + singing = Mongolian throat singing?
By the way, if you think that I am remotely entertaining, and wanted to see more of my bullshit on the internet, then please buy a hoodie. Or don't. But imma have some swag ass threads and you won't. Dud.